What to do when you say that you do not come to the funeral? For example, this story: "It happened when my father died my ex-wife. She asked me not to come, despite the fact that our marriage lasted over twenty years and I had a good relationship with her parents. The former is explained by the fact that her current husband my presence would be unpleasant. I respect her wish, however, I think that should be around children at this point. The question is, if my ex dies before me, do I have to go to her funeral? In this situation appropriate?".
In the case when the ex-wife asks you not to attend the funeral of her parents, her desire to perform. Quite a different situation when talking about the funeral of your ex-spouse. In this case, come to say goodbye to the deceased – it's your duty. An exception may be the desire of the deceased that you were not present. Then your children have to follow the wishes of the mother. Maybe they have complicated feelings towards you. Ask whether they want your presence. In any case, you can always support them before and after the funeral.
The funeral of a man able to reconcile and forget past wrongs
In life it often happens that many relatives do not communicate with each other. Causes – a variety, from the long-standing argument to ignore "out of spite". Besides, as you know, "the brother loves the sister of the rich." And the parents of the husband with his wife's parents since the wedding can't communicate – if only because of how much money is spent on the young. However, the death makes the whole "clan" together. The funeral can create the ground for reconciliation and to be used for deepening the conflict. For example, the siblings can be reunited, and parents – to continue the unresolved rivalry. Family members can disagree about the topic funeral costs. The fact that some can find the strength to stop the rivalry, the other is to declare a temporary truce, while others may use a funeral as a platform for revenge for old grievances.
But not only the holidays bring people together, but funerals make me forget the wrongs of the past. The grief of loss, as a reminder of the transience of all earthly things, humbles pride. Other people's tears disarm, relieve tension, make us more sensitive. And – about a miracle! – you again lots of love to give. All talk and remember happy moments. Probably, at this point, the total relative who never opens his eyes, truly rest in peace.